I’ve been TTC for 20 months. During all of this time trying to make a baby with my husband, I really thought I wanted to be a mother. I am grateful that I was forced to think really long and hard about motherhood with each passing month that I did not get that positive pregnancy test I longed for. I made a list of reasons I should be a mother and reasons I shouldn’t be a mother throughout this time. To my surprise, I have come up with 550 reasons I don’t need to have children and only 171 reasons why I should have children.

I have concluded during this journey that having biological children is inherently selfish. There are billions of already birthed and existing unwanted children in the world, why have your own? It is free or little to no cost at all to adopt a child from foster care. If you love babies then work with infants in a daycare and get paid for it. Some women just love the baby phase and once their children get older they want to have another baby. If you work in a daycare center you never have to think about those babies growing up to be adults because you get a new set every year.

I’m actually quite thankful that I’m not a mother. It took a while for me to look at pregnant women and not feel an inch of jealousy, but instead pitty. Children don’t necessarily make you happier, and there are many fulfilling ways to ensure that you live a meaningful life without your own biological children. I’ve spent time while on vacation with people in their late 50’s and mid 60’s who have never had children both male and female. They spend their time traveling to different countries, driving luxury vehicles, and enjoying the company of their friends.