I don’t love my mom TW

My mom was my primary caretaker growing up but she was very verbally abusive as was my stepdad. They would mock and belittle me and were super controlling. I tried to kill myself multiple times from ages 8-17 because of their words and actions. I begged multiple therapists and psychiatrists to help me and nothing was done except me getting in trouble for “crying abuse”. All I wanted to do was be away from them so when I was 19 I moved away to another city with 50 dollars and a few boxes of stuff.

I soon met my now husband and started therapy. I had to unlearn the ways that I was shown “love”, and how to communicate with people I’m in a relationship with. I kept my distance from my mom and stepdad because they repeatedly screwed me over (claiming my stimuluses, refusing to give me prior years tax forms, stealing from my family’s savings account made for me, and the list goes on). My grandma has repeatedly begged me to get in contact with them despite them doing such shitty things because “at the end we’re family” but family doesn’t do that to each other.

Family doesn’t threaten to take your unborn baby from you or tell your husband you’re going to end up killing yourself and your baby. Family doesn’t tell you no one will ever love you and you’re better off dying alone. I don’t need to forgive anyone and move on when the majority of my life I was two grown adults target. Just because they didn’t hit me often doesn’t mean it wasn’t abuse and I’m tired of my grandma making excuses for my mom and stepdad. I wasn’t “bad” I was a child who didn’t understand why I was always picked on by my caretakers. Nothing I did was good enough for them and I’m not about to let it go because their getting older. They were ADULTS calling a child a bitch and ugly, they weren’t kids or teenagers.