When I first met my MOI we got along so nicely. We bonded over things like music, books and art. I spent 2 nights during the week at her place while my husband was working not far from there, as he would come home to her place after. (She invited me multiple times.)

We’d cook dinner, and watch tv or a movie while waiting for him. Then the 3 of us would spend time together, laughing etc.

When he started talking about marriage his mum was not impressed. She would make subtle comments, about her own marriage with his dad which ended in divorce. She also said things to my husband, like “if you act like that, *insert my name* will divorce you” and other things.

We went to Bali, and while we were there my husband bought a promise / temporary engagement ring. We didn’t have much money at that time so he was just a bit excited to get something anyway. He waited until we came back to Australia.

He then asked my parents permission to marry me, and they granted their blessing. Everyone was very happy for us, except my MOI. He proposed roughly 6 months after our trip, and immediately told all of his family. He wanted to tell his mum in person.

We went over to her place, and she was not impressed. She said “well congratulations I guess” and shrugged it off. She gave a fake hug, and a fake smile and then changed the topic to herself.

Fast forward to a week before our engagement party, she met up with my dad and was expressing that she didn’t want us to get married young, among other things my dad won’t tell me because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. He put her in her place. (I have to add my parents are still married, and it’s weird that she only wanted to meet up with my dad?)

Our engagement party comes, and she decides to come 2 hours late blaming her pcos. I have pcos and it is not an excuse to show up to your own sons engagement party 2 hours late without messaging. She could come with a heat pack and sit down the whole time, we wouldn’t have cared aslong as she came. She came, and didn’t talk to anyone… even us. And her whole side of the family did the same.

His dad had a broken leg, and was on crutches but made effort to introduce himself to every single person and even sat with my family and chatted for a while. His side of the family were super keen, and talking to everyone aswell.

Anyway it was time for speeches, and my husband, his dad and my dad all gave a speech. My mum and I sat together to the side of them. It was all very rushed and there were loads of people. They just basically all said thank you, and welcomed our families together. It was like 5 minutes all up.

A week after the party, his mum inboxed me about a wedding expo and I invited her along. She sent me a lengthy, structured paragraphed messaged about how I was “alienating her” from our wedding and taking away her son.

She complained about not being included with speeches at the engagement party. She also said some insulting things about our relationship. I told her that she needed to speak to her son directly, and to please leave me alone.

She blew up his phone, and demanded he come to her place to talk. His dad told him to hang up on her, and after sitting and talking with his dad, he decided to tell her he needed space and respect.

My question is, am I the asshole for not including my MOI in every single plan for the wedding? I found it hard to want to bond with her after her not being happy and saying all that stuff. I just assumed she wasn’t interested.

Heart tattoo on butt