is this normal or is there something wrong with me?

alright I'm gonna post this anonymously bcs it's kind of embarrassing so plz don't judge. I have never rly been into like m*sturbating or anything like that bcs I was kind of a late bloomer. I always thought being sexual just wasn't for me bcs the idea of sex made me feel uncomfortable and insecure. Watching p*rn made me feel nauseous, but I've found that reading p*rn and using my imagination has been my escape. So, I was stuck in this cycle of debating whether or not I should try m*sturbation. I've grown up Catholic, and I was originally planning on keeping virginity for marriage but now I'm second guessing myself. I'm not a younger teen anymore, and I felt like it was ab time I put on my big girl pants and do it. So I did. And it was horrible. I can't even describe how uncomfortable, awkward, and painful it was. Like, it was literally painful to try so I gave up lmfao. Idk what's wrong with me maybe I'm mistaken and I'm asexual or something or maybe I have a health condition. Idk lol anyways just felt like ranting 💀