Would you be upset about this?

Things between my husband and I are tense right now.

We planned our sons birthday for June 4th, we sent out invites last week. Last night a distant cousin reached out to me because they have planned to do a memorial for her dad who passed back in Novemeber. Well my dad and her dad were very close growing up and even as adults. So I told my husband about it and he got upset saying how if my dad doesn't show up then he doesn't need to be around our kids at all period. Which I feel isn't fair at all.

I have no issue if my dad doesn't come to the party because he attends the memorial instead. I'm perfectly OK with it and understand. My husband then just went off on how my family is toxic, because my parents aren't the best. They don't have a relationship with my kids at all. But it's also not just mine, it's my niece and nephews too. They just idk... don't act like grandparents. My husband's parents are the same though. His parents have absolutely no relationship with our boys. His mom just showers them with gifts all the time.

Anyways.. my dad and I were on the phone today and I asked if he got the invite and he said yeah I did that just puts me in a hard spot. And I told him I know and that I'm ok if he chooses not to come to the party and my husband stormed off. It's putting me in the middle and it sucks and it really hurts.

I hate that both of our parents aren't the best at being grandparents but I can't control that.