He gets mad if I do, he gets mad if I don’t

I’m a SAHM so my partner is the one bringing in money. He’s in construction and gets paid pretty good. I hate asking him for money tho. Whether it be for clothes or groceries, I hate it. He gets mad when I don’t ask him for money but I just feel selfish or shitty about it. I just feel like that’s money he worked hard for and I’m not entitled to it. Well today I asked him for $20 so I can go to target and buy myself pads and a bra. He rolled his eyes then rolled over and went to sleep. I’m confused because when I don’t ask him for money for myself, he gets irritated but when I do he gets irritated as well. He had also told me earlier this week that he was getting two different checks from two projects and he was going to give one of them to me so I can pay off my credit card and go to VS for new bras since I’m not longer nursing. But he never did, instead he talked about using the money to buy himself a bike off his friend. I hate myself for feeling upset that he didn’t go through with his word. I don’t know, it’s just upsetting because if you were gonna make other plans, why tell me you were gonna give me money and have me feeling relieved to pay off my cc. Am I a bitch for feeling like this? Because I feel like it. I keep telling myself, it’s his money and I shouldn’t feel the way I do. I hate not having my own income so I don’t have to depend on him for money. I have like $30 in my account and I have to buy my nephew a birthday present, plus pads, plus a bra. It’s frustrating. I hate myself.

@Jess I’d like to but we both agreed that daycare is something we’re not comfortable with. At least not until our daughter can speak clearly and communicate with us if anything were to happen. We don’t have family members to watch our daughter and most WFH jobs require a quiet place to work which doesn’t exist in my household with my very vocal daughter lol.

I wanted to clarify that we’re not married therefore we don’t have joint accounts. He always tells me to ask him for money when I need it. He had given me a credit card from his bank just with my name but he told me one day he really needs to pay it off because it’s A LOT so I stopped using it because I felt bad. Every time we have this conversation, he reminds me that I’m doing all the work at home so I shouldn’t feel crappy for asking for money but I do. Maybe today was just one of those days where he just was in a bad mood or something. Idk..