Need advice for getting through a breakup..

A little backstory, been with him for going on 5 years. We fell in love and got married and had our first baby within that first year. But he changed for the worst and just put me through hell, that’s why I’d leave him but go back because I just love him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband. So many downs and so little ups during our marriage, and although some of it was me, most of it was him and worse than anything I ever did. I fixed myself and changed for the better. I left this last time cause I thought he changed but he didn’t, he was doing so much behind my back just because I was out of town and yes we both we together and talking everyday and NOT separated (but he was acting like he was). So I know it’s for the better that I left, cause he can’t Treat me how I deserve. But it still hurts. And I don’t know why because I have no reason to love him or want him after all he’s done to me. And I even hate myself for still loving him and wishing he could change and be better like the movies. I’m just looking for advice one how any of y’all moved on.. like what helped out or made it easier?? And no I really don’t have anyone I can talk to or trust like that. And Idk if it makes a difference but im also 5 months pregnant with our 3rd planned baby. (Second pregnancy was ectopic). I’m considering living in my car cause I’m not comfortable living where I am, until I can figure my life out.