My boyfriend wants to borrow money.

I’m going to take the risk of being judged here. It’s whatever. I like opinions that are not bias and I can’t always trust that my friends are being real with me because they’ll always be on my side.

I am currently making 100/hr as a nurse on a traveling contract. I have a pretty good savings. For once in my life, I am financially secure and safe. I will admit I’ve spent some money on myself as well as a reward but I save most of it because this is short term.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for only three months. We have dated in the past, so he’s already comfortable with me to ask this. He’s never been all that good with money but says it’s because he’s a single dad, full custody, no child support. I get it. He paid over a grand towards his old apartment because he did not break the lease the way you’re supposed to. So he owes another 4k. Because he just paid this 1k, he wants me to reimburse it and pay me back over the next few months.

So here’s the problem. It isn’t about the money. I have money and I enjoy helping people. What I’m irritated about is that he isn’t poor.. he HAS money. His daughter goes to a private school and he pays for it! 400/month. He also got a nice tax check. I however had to pay during tax season. He has none of it left. He also only pays 1/3 of rent and bills, because I offered to pay more considering my hourly wage right now. After he left the old apartment, he was living with his mom so he didn’t pay bills for two months before he moved in with me. He tells me he has no savings.. at all. It’s gone. If it matters, he makes 55k per year which is not much less as I do as a staff nurse. I’d say that’s above poverty level for living in Indiana.

So the problem here, is how am I supposed to do him any favors when this has been an ongoing problem? How am I supposed to keep respecting a man that has the audacity to ask me for money just because he’s bad with it? I am a huge Dave Ramsey fan, so I’ve always lived by the saying that I only GIVE money, I do not LEND money as that is a way to ruin friendships/relationships if it’s not paid back.

If I tell him this is the reason, it’ll crush his self esteem, so I really just don’t know what to do.