Is husband throwing food at my face abuse? *see description

Question

We had some dishes in our sick and have been super busy lately (moving) and I’ve been sick. There were some food pieces in the sink and a spoon that had a little peanut butter left on it (my fault) when I wash dishes I just don’t care if there’s food on something or in sink I just throw it away/rinse it off/keep going and put the item in the dishwasher. Well tonight he was doing the dishes and started cussing me out and throwing food at me at my face. I have a heart condition so obviously it stressed me out but has anyone had this happen before? Am I being dramatic for getting upset about this? I feel horrible and it’s my fault. We weren’t fighting or anything he had been snapping at me all night because he’s stressed I think but I just kept staying quiet /calm because I knew that.

Accepted Answer

Yes. Abusive. Throwing food in your partners face? Gross old sink food at that.
Abusive

Answer

I wouldn’t necessarily call it abuse, but that’s super rude and disrespectful.

Answer

That’s not okay. 
I’m like that too when it comes to food in the sink, not a fan off it. I tell my boyfriend how I feel about it, and prefer for the food to be disposed in the garbage first then dishes in the sink LOL. If he’s the one doing the dishes and cleans up the food in the sink then I don’t really care. 
But moral of the story, I don’t snap at him, nor do I ever throw food in his face, and cuss him out. 
He is the way he is, I am the way I am. Even if it is a pet peeve of mine, I will not do that to my partner. 
While this doesn’t really seem like physical abuse, I’d label it under mental and emotional abuse.

Answer

Technically I think throwing something at anyone would be a form of abuse even if the intention wasn’t necessarily to harm you. I think what he did was absolutely WAY out of line and completely inappropriate. You shouldn’t need to apologize for leaving food on dishes in the sink, isn’t that what everyone does? That’s the purpose of a sink. That’s what I would have said. So he is stressed and is taking it out on you, which isn’t healthy and given you have a heart condition you’d think he would know better then to treat you this way. He should be the one apologizing for being so out of line. Sit him and and tell him that him throwing food at your face is completely disrespectful and that he cannot pull that stunt again. Whatever it is going on with him he needs to figure that out.

Answer

Umm…he threw soggy, sink food at your face…and cussed at you???

Answer

My husband would have gotten punched in the face if he threw old food from the sink in mine. That’s abuse. That’s disgusting. Keep track of these events. What we he do to you if you did that to him?

Answer

Yikes definitely out of line and disrespectful…

Answer

Is it physically abusive? No. But It does show that, at least in that moment, he was behaving like a child, and you were taking the brunt of his bad day, and his emotions. That isn't your job. It doesn't matter if it was or wasn't your fault, if you were in the same shoes, would you have found it appropriate to throw food at him? Especially, old food that had been sitting in the sink? 
If that had been my partner, I'd have started screaming. It is truly a testament to your character that you stayed calm. I would file this incident away, and see how he treats you moving forward. A marriage is complicated and hard to leave, so advice that boils down to "leave him, ur husband sux" often doesn't do much good. 
I would want to sit down with him, were he my own partner, and discuss anger management with him, and express that you aren't his punching bag, and if he continues to treat you like this, you will have to stay somewhere else temporarily.

Answer

I Don't care how stressed he is! He better go for a fuckin walk. I want him to throw food in my face his hands will be mailed to his mama

Answer

I’m sorry this happened to you, I think your feelings are valid. I’m not so fond of dish washing, so when it was my turn to do the dishes and I accidentally left some food on them my boyfriend helps me throw the food away since he knows i don’t like touching it. 😅 What we’ve done now is we divide the chores of the house. I do laundry and he does the dishes. Maybe something like this dynamic can prevent these situations? Either or, go throw him some food to his face so he can see how it feels!! And then talk it be out, let him know how it made you feel.

Is husband throwing food at my face abuse? *see description

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