An old friend reached out after 7 yrs, not sure whether to respond or not.

I'm not sure what I'm seeking, maybe just to be able to let out what's on my mind.

7 yrs ago, I had a really great guy friend (A) (completely platonic, we were friends for months). During that time, I dated a guy (Y) (my now husband). At that time, I was talking to my male friend a lot (he was one of three close friends and I spoke to all my friends a lot), and I guess my husband felt threatened to a degree.

So some back story, I was friends with A (the guy) for about 8 months until I met Y (my now husband). He was 28, and I was 19, a was 23 I ended up sleeping with Y 2 weeks after knowing him and never felt good about it but because I was raised with a mother who valued virginity over anything, it was kind of ingrained that now I was committed to Y.

So Y started getting very attached, maybe even possessive after we slept together. I did too but I had friends and enjoyed my freedom, whereas Y didn't have friends and always wanted to be down my throat when I had free time.

Anyway. So I think A was having a hard time in school (he went to school two states away) and one time we were on the phone while Y was on his way to see me (he lived with his dad, 45 mins away from my Uni). And A asked me a question, a question that I don't 100% recall because I was anxious that Y was headed over and expecting him to call me. So I responded to A "Yeah, I don't know." Because I really did not know. Anyway, Y called me and I switched over to him, he asked who was on the other line, I played dumb because I was anxious, and lied said it was no one and that I was just busy cleaning. (At that point and kind of still now at 27, I never had a good relationship with a man. My step dad was loud and abusive and always wanted to invade my privacy only to use it against me. It was wrong to lie but almost felt like a survival instinct).

Y comes to see and he is in Sherlock Holmes mode. Takes me out, starts convo out and ended up weaseling the truth out of me and he becomes livid. He forces me to call A and to tell him that I'm in a committed relationship (I hadn't told A, or anyone else other than my best friend because I'm just a private person and things were still new). Y thinks I didn't tell A because I had feelings for him but that wasn't it, A was literally the only guy that I could trust and genuinely felt was a good person. He never looked at me sexually or treated me less than, he was what I wish my brother could be for me.

So A is on the phone (did not know Y was overhearing). And I just word vomit that I'm in a relationshiship, I'm happy, and yeah just wanted him to know. He said "Ah, okay, so that's why you didn't answer my question."

And I'm like, crap what was that question? I'm trying to use all my brain cells to try to remember and kind of make a plausible question.

We end the call, I don't remember how. And Y asks, "What was the question?"

And I said, "I think he asked if we could run away, would you?"

Y went off on me, called me many things, said he regretted being with me and dropped me off. I was sad but I kind of was just flustered more than anything. Y comes back 10 mins later, tells me to get back in the car and after hr, essentially tells me whats to be back together but A needs to be out of the picture in order for us to have a future.

I should've said no, but I said yes, and also told him to stop talking to his ex because apparently they were still close. He said "it was unfair because they were together on and off for 8 years, but okay."

So I told A that we couldn't be friends, he understood and said he wished me luck and no hard feelings. Within a year, I got pregnant and married Y. Almost 8 yrs later and we are at the point of marriage counseling because I had told him that I resented him for so much in life and really, just dont have many fond memories with him. We have our first session Friday.

Two months ago, I looked up A just to see where he was in life, or if he was even alive. He was alive and moved across the country to get a job at Google. I was glad that he was doing well (unlike me lol) and left it at that.

On Saturday, I get a call on whatsapp from an unknown number at 8 pm. It has A's picture and the number looks familiar. I didn't have my phone on me which is why I didn't answer, but I don't think I would've been able to answer regardless.

It's been over 7 yrs, and I'm happy he called because we were really good friends. I'd love to catch up with him, ask him how's he's doing and wish him well, but I feel like I can't because I don't want to 'trigger' my husband. I also don't want to tell him about A because he'd probably become every more insecure (all his ex's cheated on him). I lost two other guy friends because it seemed like I couldn't have them and him. I almost just want to reach out to A and ask him, what was that questioned? Did I lose a good friend for a lie? Do I contact and not say anything to my husband? I'm not sure, I've been feeling lost lately and this new situation has caused some internal turbulence.

Thank you for reading, if you have advice it's appreciated. Sorry if this sounds like stupid teenage drama shit, it all is but even 8 yrs later, it's still kind of traumatic and apologies for grammar and all that. I'm flow writing.