How to feel IN LOVE again after having kids?

Okay like I know I do love him...but lately it seems like I'm just losing that spark we used to have. We also been together for 13yrs....and its hard to juggle kids, relationship, family, love etc allllll together =(. Sex has also been a huge issue too...its just so hard for me to get into it. After having my 3rd child which was 16 months ago, I haven't been able to reach the "Big O" either....we've tried toys and oral and everything i can think of and it has been a hit or miss. He tells me that he thinks I'm just not into him anymore....and I say I don't think thats it bc even when I try to get myself there I cant even do it my own self so idk. Its stressing me out. My kids stress me out. Life stresses me out & this relationship stresses me out. I dont even want sex anymore. I have no desire for it. I'm tired of everything being about sex. Everytime we finish having sex I get awful headaches. This is just getting really really old. Sometimes I feel like we should just split so I can have one less stressful thing over my head and shoulders.