Is it ‘correcting’ my husband or ‘sharing insight’ with him?
My husband is still a bit disconnected from our newborn, but I appreciate that it’s normal for some men. He’s there for me, and while he doesn’t enjoy spending tons of time with her he will take her when I ask. He also takes her for a couple of hours every night so that I can get dedicated rest no matter how she’s doing that night. I think he has a bit of postpartum and he’s seeing a counsellor regularly so I know he has good support there too.
Here’s the issue: when I see him with her, she’s usually crying, which of course contributes to why he feels disconnected with her. However, I can see why she’s crying - he’s holding her in a way that will make her reflux flare up, for example, or he’s turned all the lights on and is watching tv and turned the white noise off - of course she woke up! I try to make occasional comments but I also don’t want to tell him how to be a parent and make him feel even more out of the loop. He’s not doing anything harmful - I would have no problem correcting him if he was. It’s that it’s inefficient or reflects that he hasn’t spent time with her like I have. As a result, I get her back after my nap and she’s all hot and wound up from crying or fussing.
Should I address this or let him parent his own way? What’s the balance of sharing what I’ve learned with letting him discover it like I did? Anyone else had a similar situation with your partner?
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.