Hi! First time posting in this group. I hope I can get your unbiased opinion on this.

My husband, our baby and I currently live in LA, but we’re moving to his hometown over the summer. I agreed to this move hoping we will be able to buy a house in our own and raise our family in a less hectic place like LA. His parents want to sell their house and buy a ranch outside of the town, and since this property is divided into 2 houses, they want us to move in with them. The rent will be cheap, and it will be a good place to start our life in this new place for the baby and I. Babysitting will also be convenient since my in-laws will be right next door. However, my mother-in-law tends to be very controlling and intrusive.

She’s a nice woman, and we have a good relationship so far. I’m just afraid that she will be overstepping in my parenting, which she had already had, and I will not be able to take it. I know she means to help, but the time she has visit us to see our baby, she tends to want to take over. For example, I’m breastfeeding my baby with an occasional bottle if I need my husband to help me out while I run an errand, and I can’t feed our baby. So I have a mini breastmilk bank in case of an emergency. Well, the last time she came, my baby wanted to be fed every hour and couldn’t nap longer than 30 minutes. He was cluster feeding and overstimulated, but she took it as I was not producing enough breastmilk, and she suggested to use my stored breastmilk to satisfy my baby. I agreed because I was becoming overwhelmed, but from there after, she wanted to feed him every day. Of course, my 9 weeks old baby liked the idea of getting full immediately with a bottle, and I was struggling the rest of the day trying to breastfeed him without him getting irritated for having to work for his food. Also, she was ignoring his sleepy and hungry cues because she wanted to keep holding him, and I had to deal with an overtired and fussy baby during the night. I just know that if we move next to them, she will be interfering much more!

My husband is kind of a mama’s boy, so I can’t count on him to help me set up boundaries. Also, he’s kind of lazy in the sense that when something is convenient, he will conform. So even if we set a goal of moving in a year to our own place, that can easily become 2-5 years. Again, it will be very convenient for us to move in with them, but I’m afraid my relationship with my mother-in-law and even my relationship with my husband would be negatively impacted.