I’ll be 30 and my husband will be 40 this year. We have a 2 year old and are trying for #2. We’ve not set up a will and actually haven’t figured out who would get custody if we both were to pass.

I hate to think about these things but I know I need to. There are a few forks in our plans for guardians so we never made a decision. The run down is: my husbands parents are a solid no. Alcoholic mother and narcissistic father. They rarely see our son anyway so he barely knows them. His sister and brother-in-law never wanted children and are always “busy”. Also never see our son.

My oldest brother travels a lot for work. My middle brother and his wife also travel quite a bit for pleasure. My brother has a daughter from a previous relationship and he and his wife are unable to have children. They have embraced that and made it clear they don’t want to be tied down with younger children. My niece will be 13 and they plan on traveling a lot once she’s 18 and if god forbid my husband and I were to go before then that would soil those plans. (I know they would take on the responsibility if it were to happen but ya know). My parents turned 60 this year. They’re in good health and absolutely adore our son - and he adores them. My husband and I definitely feel like they would be our best option but they are getting older.

Our sons godfather lives out of state and I know my parents would be torn if they weren’t close to their grand baby (we currently live 10 minutes apart).

His godmother, my cousin, does live close. She’s a single mom and loves all the babies in the family. As I’m writing this I’m realizing that she might actually be a good fit. I suppose my issue is that I’m the type of person who doesn’t want to completely change someone’s life. And yes, I feel like my passing would be a major burden.

I’m also a little superstitious and I feel like as soon as we make the decision something bad will happen. We just want our son taken care of and I know deep in my heart our family would step up to the challenge.

So after all that rambling I’m curious, do you have guardians chosen for your child? How did you go about making the right decision? How did you ask the person or couple? I’m in my feelings right now so I do apologize for bringing down the mood but like I said, these are things that need to be discussed.