birthing center or hospital ?

not sure which one to go with. i know with my delivery i want to do some things that aren’t usually done at the hospital. i want to push in different positions to get a feel of what is most comfortable for me. i would like to have access to the shower while in labor and use the hot water for contractions (not actual delivery). i also have been doing perineal massages since 34 weeks and want to continue that during labor. i also want to apply a warm compress while pushing to avoid tearing. i would probably have easier access to all of this through a birthing center but the only thing i’m not sure about is i may want the epidural. this is my first pregnancy and while i have a pretty high pain tolerance i’m honestly terrified of feeling pain and im scared labor is going to be more than i can handle.