I’m a first time mom and I’m not doing well physically or mentally. Pregnancy has been one complication after the other and I’m on so many medications right now and in absolutely severe pain that is highly medicated and I’m bedbound right now. The doctors are saying I’m going to need a C-section probably and I’m 30 weeks so the day is getting closer. I’m just terrified honestly. Being under the knife and a doctor cutting me makes me want to scream just thinking about it. I was also raped by a medical professional in the past and even just getting a Pap smear triggers ptsd so that’s another reason I’m getting so fearful about it all. I know lots of women get through this but I also know myself and I’ve had really bad medical experiences which is why I have so much anxiety.

Can anyone share anything honest about your experience if you have been through a C-section? What was the healing like? What does your body look like now? Good or bad.. and did you have complications? Anyone with anxiety share their experience? And this part might sound vain but I’m scared what my body will look like afterwards. Everything inside my body has failed during this pregnancy and it seems to be one thing I’ve had control of what it looks like on the outside. I’ve really struggled with seeing my body change from prior surgeries. I have so many scars physically and emotionally :(. Please share any experience, photos, anything… the more I know, I feel the less anxiety I will have.

Thank you.