Is my mother gaslighting me?

Question

So before I begin this post, let me just start by saying I’ve battled a chronic illness for the past ten years of my life. I am 20 years old and have Crohn’s Disease. 
This road has not been easy, and all my life I have suffered with this pain. When I was young, my mom thought I was faking my stomach issues to stay out of school, until a doctor confirmed that I had hundreds of ulcers in my stomach. He spoke these words to her “When this child tells you she’s hurting, she is,” and handed her the results of my colonoscopy. 
When I hit middle school she started making comments to me like “You look really pale today, you should put on some makeup.” Me, being the teenager goes and puts some on, excited about getting to wear it to school for the first time. She has forced me to wear it every single day since, and when I refused she told me I looked pale, sick, and anorexic. 
Flash forward to now, I am married and am out of my household. My health isn’t so great, and my flare up came back after we were told it wouldn’t. The medicine I was on for my Crohn’s had stopped working. I had to take a medical leave from college because I can’t be in four 8 week classes and deal with so many doctors appointments. Since being out of the hospital, which has been one month, she has been asking when I’m going to get a job and “that I need to either be work or go to school, doing nothing isn’t an option”. 
This evening I receive a phone call from her. My husband is out at some friends house. She asks why I didn’t come up since he isn’t home, because “she asked me to earlier”. I never said yes or no. I tell her that I’ve had a rough day and that I’ve been hurting really bad in my lower back. I have the arthritis associated with Crohn’s as well. 
She then states “Well, when you’re at home alone doing nothing l, you’re more inclined to think about how you feel”. 
I am in recovery stage. I am literally bouncing back from a low dose chemo treatment. My stomach is trying to heal from the ulcers in my stomach. I have done four loads of laundry today. On days I feel better, I do much more around the house, but today has not been one of those days. 
I am trying not to guilt myself into thinking, “you should be doing more”, because that’s exactly what she wants. I am in the process of getting a part time job until schooling is an option again. Why is she being like this, is my mom toxic?

Answer

She’s toxic yes. As for u, fuck that negativity. I’m sitting in bed complaining to my friend over text about how I feel sick as heck and want to just go to sleep. I have a really bad cold. I swear when I had Covid I didn’t feel this bad. YOU are recovering from a painful disease u will have for the rest of ur life. 4 loads of laundry is plenty. Don’t let her guilt u. 1 load or even no loads will be enough as well. Put ur recovery FIRST.

Answer

This isn't gaslighting, but it's definitely not helping you.

Answer

It sounds like she doesn’t understand how debilitating your chronic illness is or how hard it is to live this way, and she lacks empathy. Most people have no idea what chronic illness means or the toll it takes. People say stupid things. 
Tell her you don’t appreciate how she talks to you and how it makes you feel. If it doesn’t stop, set some boundaries.

Answer

To me it just sounds like your mom wanted to spend time with you

Answer

You will feel so much better once you leave this toxic woman in your past and cut her off. She may have carried you, but she is no mother. No actual mother would treat their child this way. You don’t deserve that and I am so sorry you’re struggling with these emotional and physical problems.