What do you do?

What do you do when you love someone so much but know they aren’t the one? Like you see them and can’t help but imagine living together and getting old together. Marriage, maybe kids, probably adopted kids. Vacations and cuddles and celebrating milestones in life and in your relationships.

But then it sinks in that they might not want to vacation to any of the places on your bucket list, or watch your favorite show. You might never be comfortable belting out your favorite songs, even the wedding will be full of songs they like because you like them too, but no indie or punk or electropop. They might not agree with the authoritative parenting you insist upon on because they were “raised different” even though you grew up the same, it just fucked you up more. That they might text and drive with your kids in the car cause it might not be something they grow out of. That they might always say “but I like your hair” every time you get the urge to cut or dye it again. Only ever getting compliments in dresses and skirts or dolled up, no matter how much effort they know you put in. And it hurts so much to realize that’s your future but your heart still skips a beat when they hold you.