My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now. Full disclosure, our relationship started as an affair. We're all on good terms now though. He has two daughters with his ex, a 5 year old and a three month old.

I have difficulty because I genuinely dislike children. I never wanted any of my own, but I love him and I care about his girls. I just don't handle children well sometimes.

We have joint custody and placement with the mom. We're paying $500 a month in child support and barely scraping by most months. The mom doesn't have a stable job, she drives Uber when she feels like it and is constantly asking for more money. Which usually comes out of my pockets. We have the girls every other weekend and every once in a while during the evening on a weekday.

The girl's grandma was living with them to help watch the kids and got drunk and freaked out on the mom. Scared the 5 year old out of her wits in the process. She got kicked out and now we're watching the girls every night from 8pm to 7am while the mom drives Uber.

I'm frustrated because I wasn't consulted on the decision. We're paying for the mom to afford things like child care and food yet we're doing the babysitting and feeding them dinner. I feel like if we're going to have them all the time anyway we may as well have custody.

I feel like my voice has been taken away. Like my life isn't my own anymore and I had no say in the matter. I don't know how to handle this or get past the negative feelings I'm having... maybe I wasn't cut out for the whole children thing...