So scared!

Hey ladies! 👋🏻

I need someone to talk too- I just had a baby November 2021- he’s 8 months old. He was 9 weeks early. Born at 3lbs. And he’s a cleft palate baby. He came home on a feeding tube, o2 monitor etc and took 3 months to learn to feed from a bottle- he can’t suck…he’s gotta use a special bottle.

My pregnancy was super rough with him. I PPROM at 22 weeks and was told the remainder of my pregnancy that he would die or we both would due to infection. He spent 7 weeks in the nicu before coming home- with no issues other then with feeding due to the cleft.

I am very high risk with all my pregnancies- he was baby #5 for me. I was on bed rest with him from 15 weeks until birth.

My boyfriend and I haven’t had sex since I got pregnant with my youngest. We couldn’t have sex my whole pregnancy and never have time since his birth as I’m caring for 5 kids and work full time at night. Well the first week of July we decided to do the deed 🤣 finally- and usually I track my cycles but haven’t been because they’ve been weird because I pump for my baby. Well I felt weird this past week and Friday went and bought a test and came home and took it and sure enough- positive! I immediately started crying because my last pregnancy flashed through my mind like a movie and I am so scared. I do not want to go through that again. There is 4 years between him and my 4 year old so I was surprised he was early- I haven’t even told my boyfriend yet- we agreed we didn’t want anymore because this last one was so scary as my body just doesn’t like being pregnant. I am not on birth control and told him to pull out but he didn’t and we didn’t really think anything of it because it took us almost 2 years to get pregnant with my son and we were trying. I just don’t know what to think or feel right now. I guess I’m looking for support. Someone tell me I’ll be ok! Lol.