Yet again another month where I'm not pregnant...I'm so tired of having hope and being let down. It's frustrating because I tell myself I won't get my hopes up and I do almost every time. But I'm to the point where I just want to give up "trying" you know. Like we won't ever not try because we won't be protecting but I'm mentally and physically tired of taking medication to "help" me get pregnant when nothing is obviously working!!! I'm tired of putting my body through unnecessary drugs that are supposed to "help" me. And yes I know that these drugs or procedures have helped others but not ME!!! It's so damn hard to be a woman and not being able to do the one thing a woman is supposed to do!!! Like why me....why do I have to go through this torment!!! I just don't understand everyone else around me including family doesnt have these issues but I do. I don't want to feel this way anymore....I don't want to go through it!!! I'm tired, I'm so sick and tired!!! I'm to the point where I just want to give up I don't want to put my body and my mental state through it!!! I just feel as if it's not going to happen so why stress over it!?! It doesn't help that my sex drive has gone down ..and not because of my husband or because I don't want to its just not there like it use to be. And that just makes it that much harder...I hate it I hate infertility!!! There's women out there who are having kids left and right that don't even want kids...but someone like me and other women like me who can't and it's absolutely emotionally and physically draining and gut wrenching!!! And please don't tell me that it will happen when it's time...like when...when will be my time because 6 almost 7 years is a long time to wait for the right "time"!!! Does it ever end the pain and hatred towards your own body!?! Not only the part of not being able to conceive but the way I see myself and the way I look. And I know what your thinking right like I shouldn't be thinking this way but I do unfortunately. And I don't want to feel this way but I do. And no one understands what I'm going through because their not going through it!!! And I know there are others out there that are going through the exact same thing and I'm sorry you have to go through it as well!!! I try to stay positive but it's hard, a person can only take so much until they break!! And almost to that point I'm so close, and I may already be there I just don't know what to do about it anymore!! Sorry for the long rant and negative thoughts I'm just really having a hard time with it the last year!! I hope everyone TTC will get their rainbow baby they deserve!! God bless everyone!!