In my previous abusive relationship, my ex never let me leave the house without him, if I was going to see my sister he’d be waiting on the stairs when I left and when I got back. I always associated that with him showing me love because it was the least abusive thing he’d done (sadly). I realize now that this was anxious attachment that I never had before. I always knew to give people space just like I needed space, but after that relationship I developed an anxious attachment style as well.

I am currently dating the man I am going to marry (we have decided on when and where we are going to get married) but one of the main problems we have is my inability to give him space that he needs and that I often feel like I need. whenever he asks for that space i associate it with him not wanting to be with me or him not loving me as much as I love him. We have spent this summer apart due to seeing family in different regions and I am finally understanding the root of this issue and I know that I need to break this cycle or this relationship may end at the hand of this toxic attachment style. I want to give him the space he needs and I need that space too but I feel like every time I try to i end up in a mental space where I am overthinking our relationship and his love for me.

Does anyone know of good methods that may help because I genuinely do not want this to hurt our relationship because I have never been able to envision. myself getting married to anyone but as soon as I met him I knew. I don’t want anything to come in the way but in order to do that I need to heal this trauma and fix this issue so that we are able to give each other the space necessary. I can’t seek a therapist right now because it is costly and I have not been getting paid so I need some methods that may help me in the meanwhile.