Would you report him? TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ S.A.

Question

PLEASE READ ENTIRE THING ITS SHORTISH😬 
So basically my stepdad molested me from the ages of 3-10 and my mom knows about it now almost 20 years after it stopped. My mom still decided to stay with him and act like nothing happened for some reason (maybe out of fear). Because of this I’m moving far far away from my mother and stepdad. They will not be knowing where I am moving so I can live peacefully knowing he will never come for me. I have been contemplating reporting my stepdad for a long time to police but always scared he was going to hurt me or my mom. Like he would post bail and come home and kill her because she doesn’t know where I am moving either and he will never find me. He has made comments in the past that make me believe this is 100% a possibility. My mom is still sweet and kind to me like she’s always been she just keeps saying I don’t know when I ask her questions about her staying with him and apologizing but refuses to do any consequences. 
My questions is, if this were you, would you still report your stepdad to police? and go thru all of the possible court dates, expensive lawyers fees, possible expensive travel back to your home state, extra stress from having to relive my nightmares in court over and over. 
OR 
Would you just move away and move on? you have a wonderful husband who treats you amazing and a beautiful son. You just bought a huge house in your dream state and are so excited to start this new chapter in your lives. You have dreamed about this for years and it’s finally coming true. 
Thank you everyone in advance I really appreciate the feedback. ❤️💙

Answer

Report him and still move away. He needs to be reported so he can't do it to anyone else.

Answer

I think this a very personal answer, because what one person *thinks* they might do if this happened to them is different than if it actually happened to them. 
Like me for example, I haven’t had a situation like this personally happen to me so, I want to say.. “yes report him, blah blah blah” but, I also don’t understand the mental and emotional toll going through that takes. 
I don’t have a few people very very close to me who have gone through something like this, one person chose to leave it behind and the other person has chosen to report and do something about it. 
The person who chose to report what happened, has a story extremely close to yours. She’s been waiting for court & stuff to happen but it keeps getting pushed back, she will have to travel back to her state to testify when is does happen and until it does she has been going to therapy. It’s been hard. So hard on her and she hasn’t even had a court date yet. 
So, if I could answer your question I would say.. if you think you are mentally strong enough to go threw those emotions, feelings and memories again … & again and learn to reheal yes do it but if you think it’ll be to much it’s okay too. Your health in every way is important first. 
Just make sure other people know this guy will hurt children. 
I’m sorry your mom couldn’t stand next to you during all this, my heart breaks for you.

Answer

Honestly, I would probably do both. Report him and still move and cut contact with both mom and step dad.

Answer

Honestly, as hard as it would be, I’d report him and my mother if this was my situation. Your mom knew and stayed with him. 
Looking back on a situation I was in as a teenager, my uncle did something similar to me. At the time, he was hiding out from child support and a number of other things. I told my dad … long story short, he took him to Alberta and left him there with nothing. At the time, I felt karma was served. Looking back now, I wish I had reported it. Realizing if I’d reported him, so many other issues would have been taken care of too. 
Recently I found out that it’s thought my uncle was doing the same thing to his new wife’s daughter. It couldn’t be proven and the girl hasn’t admitted it, but I’ve told them all if they do report him to call me. 
I regret not reporting him at the time. I debate on making a report now … but I have no idea where he is because he’s cut ties with anyone and everyone.

Answer

I feel stepdad needs to be held accountable for his actions. But I also see your view on it; it can become depressing and draining and truly difficult to go the legal route. I personally would want to report him to the police and do all that. But being that it has been quite some time since it stopped and I now have this beautiful family of my own, I would just cut ties with them forever and move on without reporting him. And then I would go to therapy, which is part of self-care, to get help with all of my feelings, thoughts, the actions that took place and so much more. 
I am truly sorry you had to experience something so awful and for so long. I just cannot imagine that! I mean, I have been raped, but that was a one time ordeal. Not that it would make it any better. But to have endured such cruelty for so many years continuously could not have been easy. Now, I would worry about you and your family. And move on but also seek therapy; nothing wrong with speaking to someone professionally who can help put things into perspective for you. I wish you all the best and may heart aches for you, for all you been through. ❤️

Answer

I think you should do what is best your your healing. If you think all of that would bring up more trauma for you and that it would Bette rigor you to try and move on then I would do that. If you feel like you will never feel safe or feel closure until you see him be held accountable then I would do everything you can do get him out in jail.
I would talk to a lawyer first about the likelihood of him being out away based on your testimony alone. Is there anyone else besides your mom who knew and could testify?

Would you report him? TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ S.A.

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