I am out this month

I am 15dpiui today and just got a BFN

I had high hopes this month.

7 years of TTC and the struggle is so real.

I feel i am so worthless, why can't i have a baby, i feel like god has abandoned me.

So many people have unwanted pregnancies and i can't even have one baby to hold in my arms, hug or kiss.

I am just so broken up.

Its early in the morning and i am here crying my heart out.

I don't want my husband to know that i tested, even though he is dying to have a kid, he is being so patient.

Everyone tells it happens when the time is right, when god wills etc etc.

But i am already 35yrs.

Married when i was 26 and wanted a baby so much.

When is my right time?

I have never seen 2 red lines in a pregnancy test in my life, not even a faint one.

Next step is ivf and its gonna be hard for us financially. The stress is making me so bitter, i don't even want to get out of my bed.

I am just sick of this TTC.

I feel so sad for my husband, he would have made a wonderful dad. He is a great person and the only comfort in my life.