I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve struggled so much just trying to feed my baby. I wanted to breastfeed so badly and that’s been the primary food source for her since she was born, but we are now 9 weeks in and it still isn’t getting easier. In fact, it’s getting worse. Some days it’s great! We have a feed every 2-3 hours. Others we struggle. She fights the boob and then doesn’t get a full feed. Then an hour later she’s hungry again and we repeat the same thing over and over again. So then I decide to pump and bottle feed, then she refuses the bottle because she wants the breast.

She struggled with silent reflux so I cut out all major allergens from my diet. Last week, she was showing some majors digestive discomfort so we took her to the ER. The first night we were gaslit and sent home with a fussy baby diagnosis. The next night her belly button popped out and turned purple and was passing some major gas. So we went to a different ER. They sent us home saying she just had colic. She went from pooping at every diaper to now it’s been two days and no poop, but her farts are super smelly, and I’m supposed to believe this is normal. She breastfed yesterday great. Even had a couple bought of suckling for comfort. Today, she has fought me so hard since 3:30am. I’ve had to pump and give bottles.

I’m so heartbroken and frustrated. I hate that she’s always pissed off about something. I can’t do tummy time because whenever she’s awake she crying. I can’t soothe her. She was such a happy baby for the first six weeks and then boom. Nothing makes her happy anymore. I’m not inexperienced. I was 14 when my brother was born and I was a nanny to my newborn twin nephews for the first six months of their lives. But I can’t seem to figure out my own baby. Her crying spells are completely unpredictable and forget about any sort of routine. She doesn’t give me any clues to whether seems hungry, tired, or bored. I don’t know what else to do. I’m at my parents house two hours away from where we live for help, while my husband works full time and comes down on the weekends. I just hate that she’s so unhappy.