Just Need To Rant

In my last trimester I was going through the mail one day and found this letter from a credit card company. Naturally I thought it was just an offer to sign up. No, it was a freakin statement with $800 racked up. I couldn’t wait, I called my husband at work and asked him why I’m looking at a credit card statement from said bank. He burst into tears (I’m no hug a thug, so I didn’t care if he was crying) He knows we’ve been trying to get out of debt. He promised me he would stop what he was doing.

He buys, sells, and trades sport cards. Nothing illegal!

Then within the FIRST month of our daughter being born he goes behind MY BACK, USES MY CREDIT CARD, which WAS paid off, and racks up $3,000 dollars on it😵🤬🤯 I truly couldn’t believe it. He was acting so weird that day, I thought he was going to leave me or something. I should have left him😒 Here I am still trying and crying from the latch of my newborn trying to feed and he tells me what he did. Mind is still blown! He then tries to get one of those loan sharks loans, they told him he probably couldn’t get approved so he mind immediately shot to me. Asked if I would sign up and see if I could get approved. To pay off my credit card with a lower interest rate. My dumbass did it🙄

Literally a week before 8 weeks postpartum,

I check our bank account and I see a $6,000 withdrawal and then a $500 withdrawal. This NASTY SOB! I call him in the middle of the night and ask him wtf he did and he was fucking gambling. He also asked his mom to spot him the money so we wouldn’t overdraft. (He always uses her as a safe haven for money) I am in shock! We have a 4 year old and a newborn baby and he decides to do this shit. $6,500 y’all. I still can’t believe it. WE DIDN’T have the money. I texted his mom at like 3am and apologized for what her dumbass son had done. We had a talk and she told me she wouldn’t be surprised if I divorced him. That never ran across my mind, until then. I shouldn’t have to put up with that.

He’s mad at me now that I didn’t instantly forgive him because he apologized🫠 I had plans like a year in advance to go out of town for a bachelorette weekend and he totally fucked that up. It was little, yes, but it would have been a nice little get away for me. Idk the last time I did something for myself.

He came home from work today and wanted a hug and kiss. Uhm, sorry, but no way in hell. I told him I would talk to him, just because I feel like our son can tell there’s tension in the house, but I wasn’t at all going to show him any affection.

As if he wasn’t working double shifts at work to pay off the debt he put on us now he has to pay off his mom first. I’m so mad, I can’t see straight when thinking of this.

He started crying at the dinner table literally because I wouldn’t give him a hug, get over yourself. I told him he doesn’t get to spend time with our kids that he should probably stop crying and enjoy what time he has before he has to go to sleep for work. I work, but am getting that federal PPL, we had the option of 12 weeks off but he forfeited his 12 weeks to go back to work.

He doesn’t understand the severity of what he’s done and the strain he’s put on our marriage. If he wasn’t getting all the time he can get I would tell him to go to the coal mines or get on an oil rig to make money fast and then go back to our job.

Guys, I just can’t breathe. I thought we could see just an inkling of light at the end of the tunnel. Now it’s boarded up and 1,000 feet away😪