When I was pregnant with my first child, I automatically got judgement from my family. Second time around I was even scared to mention I was pregnant with twins and I received even more judgement. They would say hurtful things like “you guys need to snip snip” or “you guys have a whole soccer team” or “no girl don’t have any more” or “are you guys going to get married or are you just going to be having more babies” and MORE. Every family gathering or visitation, they remind me not to have more kids.

On my first baby shower everything went great, everyone came and then the second time around, nobody wanted to help me set up a baby shower. I was so stressed setting up the baby shower. I was even catering food to everyone at the baby shower, I WAS PREGNANT. I WAS UP THE WHOLE TIME. Like why did nobody want to help?

I felt awkward opening and receiving stuff, I could feel judgement. So now I am scared this round. Because I am expecting my last! I am a grown adult, I know I want kids, they are my passion. I felt like all these pregnancies, I got in trouble for being pregnant. Even my catholic, step grandfather asked if I was going to get an abortion with my first.

Why are they like this? I feel like their whole judgement is because of the postpartum I am having to deal with now. I feel like no one likes the twins, or my whole family. What do I do this time? How will I announce my pregnancy? I just don’t understand the madness of my happiness. I don’t want to announce to them I am even pregnant. I’m scared. Please don’t judge me.