Ugly . i cant take it

No matter how hard I try and look good in the mirror, do my makeup, hair, outfit, money I spend on beauty stuff…. photos of me come out horrendous. I have a history of body dysmorphia and so taking pictures is really triggering for me but I can’t escape it when other people im with wanna take pics. I just already know how ill look. I think my facial structure just doesn’t photograph well, it looks masculine and awkward, I look like my features don’t mesh well together,,,, it really looks awful and I am being serious. im just getting mind fucked because how can I look that awful??? surely it’s a distortion. I just cannot believe I look like tht I am disgusted.