Will my sons lunch box be judged?

Question

I know teachers go thru kids lunch box, and if the lunch isn’t deemed acceptable, the parent is lectured (is child allowed to eat the food?) and parent is expected to send something better. 
My son is 4 and has ARFID (If you don’t know what that is don’t even bother commenting and lecturing me). The school is aware he has autism (this is a regular preschool he didn’t qualify for a developmental preschool) and they are aware he’s in feeding therapy and OT for his eating issues.  I really hope they kind of leave me alone and spare the judgement as we have been trying for over 2 years to expand his food.  
I plan on sending him with fruit, crackers, and a sandwhich.  He will absolutely not eat the fruit or the sandwhich and maybe just a few crackers.  
I really don’t want to hear about how he isn’t eating a healthy lunch.  I am having a ton of anxiety, as I’ve been stressed out about how little he eats for. VERY long time. His lack of eating has been a huge stress factor in my life and it kills me how little he eats 
What can I expect from the school? Will they give me a hard time if his lunch isn’t really up to par?

Answer

I don’t know of any school that goes through the children’s lunches and says what they can or can not eat. Send him with what he will eat. 🙃

Answer

Im from the US and never heard of such a thing until a mom from Canada posted that teachers monitor packed lunches and there are strict rules and penalties...crazy! Given your son has a condition and an actual reason why youd be packing limited things, I would simply inform them and get a drs note if possible. Then I would pack whatever he will actually eat. I wouldnt pack a whole sandwhich that will go to the garbage to appease teachers. If you *must* pack more then maybe a fruit cup he can just bring home and you can reuse it and not waste it. If you worry about what others think, youll never win. My son has sensory issues so I buy him the same pair of shoes in multiple sizes and multiples of the clothes he likes, so it looks like he just has 1 pair of shoes and wears the same bottoms all the time, but I just feel like go ahead and judge away, I know my kid.

Answer

I'm in Canada and have two fussy eaters rhat ate severely limited diets until about 7 or 8 years old. Never had rhe lunch boxes gone through at school or daycare. The daycare handbook does say to send a healthy lunch plus two snacks but thats its, I've never had any negative feedback about what I've sent. For a while it was just fruit and carbs because thats all they'd eat 🤷‍♀️

Answer

First of all they have no right to go through his lunch. Second of all he is YOUR kid not theirs you do what YOU feel is best.

Answer

No one will care what you pack your kid. Honestly. As long as it’s not peanuts or whatever is on the NO list. I think you’re stressing yourself out over a non-issue.

Answer

I also don’t know any schools that go through home lunches so I’d pack him things you know he’ll eat and to hell with the school. I will say last year at my daughter’s school the counselor (she was in 4th grade) called me to tell me I need to pack healthier foods for her and I told her to mind her own business (I made her a hot pocket, gave her some fruit and vegetables, gave her a water with a water flavoring and some candy as it was the day after Halloween).

Answer

My mom works in kindergarten rooms and nobody cares what the kids have at lunch unless it causes repeated problems (like fights or meltdowns). If it’s something that concerns you, maybe have a letter from his doctors/therapists on hand that you can provide to his school to help them understand.

Answer

Send what he will eat. Why even bother with the fruit and sandwich if you know he won’t eat them? Speak to them directly to make it clear this is a work in progress and you won’t be wasting food just to make it look balanced.

Answer

My daughter’s preschool requires a protein and a produce. The rest is up to us. The protein can be meat, cheese, nut butter, beans, etc. The produce can be fruit or vegetable. I don’t know what he eats besides crackers, but you may have lots of other options besides a sandwich and fruit. TikTok and Instagram have a lot of kid lunch ideas.

Answer

Is there anything you can pack in addition to crackers that he will eat? It's silly to pack things like a whole sandwich that you know he won't eat. It would be helpful to see a list of foods that he will sometimes eat so we can help construct a lunch. Will he drink a nutrition shake or pureed fruit/applesauce packets? Are there any meats or cheeses that he sometimes nibbles?
 In addition to that, I might include a very small portion of a visually "normal" food like 1/8 of a sandwich just in case social pressure encourages him to try a bite.

Will my sons lunch box be judged?

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