Im an almost 18 year old girl (so 17) and I have a job at a grocery store. I’ve been working there for quite sometime and one of the first people i met there was this man in his 50s who stocked shelves. He was a nice guy. He would always strike up conversation with me and would give me advice on whatever would go on in my life when i told him i had a bad day. Causal conversation. Conversation i’d have with any other co worker.

It started out innocent enough… but he started touching me. He didn’t touch me on any intimate parts but he would do things like put both of his hands on my shoulders. He would squeeze my arm on occasion. He’d run his fingers down my arm. almost recently we were walking down an aisle. I was looking for something and he placed his hands on my lower back. and rubbed his hands there for a few seconds. Another time he was coming up an aisle and i was just about to walk down the same one. we butted heads, and he took both of his arms and placed them on my shoulders and just looked at me. He was talking to me too but i didn’t say a word. I didn’t even make an expression. He started laughing at me about how funny i am & im just standing there like an absolute idiot. He does this touching thing every single time we speak alone. I’ll be on a stool and i’ll feel a hand on me and there he is. I’ll be putting things in a shopping cart and he bends down next to my face to try and scare me. He doesn’t do it with other people around. He talks to me like i’m a child and keeps his distance. Like an adult is supposed to talk to a teenager but gives me these compliments that can be interpreted as innocent but with all of this it weirds me out. some on my appearance. some of my intelligence. calling me his *insert my name here*when i do things right. He even tried to get me an internship at a job i was wanting after i graduated from HS. but when we are alone in a section of the store. he touches me and starts talking more maturely. I don’t think of myself as a fragile child.

Im almost an adult I go to work I get paid but it doesn’t stop me from getting angry. Enraged. Confused even. because he probably looks at me as if i’m this fragile child which may give him permission??? I think it’s a generational gap sometimes. Maybe he’s trying to be nice. & i’m this crazy woman looking into everything because i can’t seem to take a platonic touch (internalized misogyny.. i know) but it doesn’t feel good. & i cant seem to tell him to stop. He has this smile on his face every time we speak & I freeze in my place. I cant move. He’s not even touching my ass or my tits, he’s touching my back or my arm or my shoulders & yet i feel like time stops and i’m just frozen there. I always hype myself up to tell him to quit it. but i cant seem to. he always talks about his wife and son & it disgusts me. but then i have this doubt in my mind that he’s an old man who thinks i’m like a granddaughter to him so he thinks it’s okay to get that close to me which sounds ridiculous but why would somebody who claims to love his wife do this to another person. Im just wondering if this is my fault. I don’t tell him to stop. The wind leaves my lungs & it sounds so stupid but how can he not know to stop if i don’t tell him. I just can’t get the words out of my mouth. I like to think of myself as a strong person, but i can’t even get an old man to stop putting his hands on me when i’m just trying to work a minimum wage job. Is this my fault. Is this even harassment? :( why does he sound so nice but does this crap? am i being fooled? fucking why do i allow this shit??????

EDIT: Thank you for all your responses. I will report him. I understand that stuff like this can escalate if i don’t put a stop to it. i’m afraid of running into him in an enclosed space in a back room thinking about that. thank you for words of encouragement. I really just had to get this off my chest. -A

update: i reported him.