What would you do?

Question

What would you do? 
Child A picks up a toy and starts playing with it.  
Child B wants the toy, starts crying 
Do you tell child a to give up the toy, and share? 
Or do you tell child b to wait their turn and play with something else in the mean time?
Both kids are newly 3

Answer

Child b waits and/or plays with something else. Forced sharing is weird.

Answer

Child B should wait their turn. Part of sharing is waiting for a turn to play. Unless child A totally snatched the toy directly out of B’s hand, in which case it would need to go back to child B, and child A would need to wait their turn.

Answer

Part of sharing is waiting your turn. 
Sharing shouldn’t be forced and an all the time thing.

Answer

I make the kid without the toy wait his turn. Also I tell the kid without the toy that they can go find another fun toy and see if the first kid will trade the toys. But no I never take a toy from a kid who had it first. What does that teach anybody?

Answer

You tell child B “I can see you would like a turn with the toy let’s ask for a turn” help the child ask.
Tell child A “Child B would like a turn with the toy are you done playing with it or would you like to keep playing with it” 
If the child says they are done problem solved (make sure the child knows they don’t have to be done with it)
If the child says no then say okay when you are finished child B would like a turn.
Tell child B “First child A’s turn then your turn” then redirect. “Would you like to play with this or that while we wait for a turn?” Validate feelings “I know it can be hard to wait your turn I have a tough time waiting for fun things to” If the child becomes upset and melts down or throws a fit calmly hold the boundary, offer a hug or comfort item and help them through their feelings. 
Don’t make children share until they are ready. And don’t shame children for having big feelings.

Answer

B

Answer

So I have a 3 year old and my SO has a 4 year old and a 6 year old. The 6 year old understands sharing. The other two are still learning. The main problem we have is when my 3 year old is playing with something, his 4 year old will get jealous and snatch it from her even tho he hadn't even looked at it all day and then try to lie and say he had it first or that its his even if it isnt. My 3 year old will try to play with them but also snatch things away that she wants but gives it back when she gets in trouble for it. A BIG part of sharing is learning to wait your turn to play with something that someone else has, especially when the only reason you want it to begin with is because someone else has it in the first place. My SO and I are both teaching our kids that they do NOT have to just hand over whatever they are playing with just because someone wants it. They do, however, have to learn how to share their time with it and take turns.

Answer

B waits unless A is intentionally monopolizing the toy just so B doesnt get it. When that happens, I do a timer eg tell child A he has 5 more mins with the toy, then child B will get 5 mins and they can swap. That way Child A knows he or she will get the toy back, though in my experience they just lose interest once the power struggle is removed.

Answer

Kids don’t understand the logic of sharing until they are 4-5 years old. They just can’t since their brain is still immature. 
Before that you just try teaching “taking turns” while playing.

What would you do?

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