I don't think I was fully ready for the heartache of trying to have one child.. Every month is a let down I feel like I'm failing with something my body should be able to do... I see it in my boyfriends face even though he comforts me I know he's sad too 😔. I found my bf the one I'm hoping to marry and now I'm 36 maybe he just came along too late.. My doctor cleared me but idk maybe it's him? He works eith chemicals daily and I just get the feeling that has possibly affected his fertility but I cannot get him to go and get a sperm analysis which would tell us if it is. I have fallen into this weird depression where I just feel like he's going to leave me.. With him I gave up so much, I left my state and moved to California and hate it here but I love him... 😭