Are my feelings normal? How did you know you were ready for baby #2?

Period is late for 2 wks I’ve always been regular and my baby is 9 months! Currently taking bc, when I peed on the stick no lie I was so scared I wanted a BFN! I quit my job almost 2 yrs ago due to infertility issues and hubby thought too much stress was causing it & got pregnant right away after that, anyways we are moving to a different state so that alone it’s a lot, we got a house there already but currently remodeling and we are still on the process of selling ours here so it’s a lot going on and So at the moment I wanted a BFN, but that’s what I got and I started crying 😭😭😭 Idk why😭 Now that I know I’m not pregnant I wished it was positive? Is this normal? Could I be ready for another baby? How do I know if am ready for baby #2? I always wanted a 3yr gap but I’m feeling hurt I’m not pregnant.