TW: Discolored Stillborn

TW: Discolored Stillborn

Keanu Castro, you're turning two in a couple days. I cannot believe that time has flown by so quick without you here. I wonder what you're doing in Heaven. I wonder that everyday as I pass by your Urn.

Truth is, I hate how insensitive people are still.. about you. People tell me that I don't have a child, just because you aren't here physically. Invalidating that my birth was inconsequential from other women birthing their viable children. Telling me that it "doesn't count". It makes me want to scream at the whole damn world, scream at stupid ignorant people. It makes me feel like I'm alone that no one truly understands my pain of birthing my stillborn son, as he's lifeless in my arms. Holding onto a glimps of hope, when the nurses told me you were no longer breathing. Holding onto a glimpse of hope that you'd be breathing. But that hope wasn't there. I don't know why I still have this grudge when people say hurtful things, like you never existed. I feel like I cannot express how much hurt I still hold onto that I can't express to people. No matter how I say it, it just feels the words are just insubstantial to others.