Anxiety

So I’m 38 weeks pregnant with a little boy. I’ve delt with so many changes in my Life during this pregnancy. I was cheated on 6 months of it, and the baby was planned. There was no signs until our daughter ( who is now two ) was using dads phone for YouTube and handed it to me throwing a temper tantrum bc she closed the app and she had all his tabs open and he had a whole ass separate email messaging girls on every dating app and website you could think of including CRAIGSLIST looking for sex.

And porn… just so much of it. And I’m not against porn but the porn, the escorts, and the websites had me so overwhelmed I feel like I’ve been sick ever since and I found out in July.

My grandpa is on hospice and he lives 2 hours away and my dr doesn’t want me traveling which is understandable until after birth.

I am juggling so much on my own that I feel like I haven’t felt relaxed or normal in months.. that I have so much anxiety about going into labor, or the we’ll being of the baby or myself, it’s like it manifested into me thinking I’m going to die after I have the baby. Idk what’s wrong with me. I don’t feel depressed just very anxious, and irritable, but so happy to be having this baby ( baby number #5 )

I have no one to be there for me when I have this baby, and the father shows no remorse but still thinks I should forgive him and “let it go”

How can I help myself calm down?! 😭