I really could use some advice on this topic…

The bleeding lasted 9 days. It stopped Friday. I’m now testing negative again and my symptoms are finally gone. I am so devastated.

The thing is, I was not TTC and cannot TTC. I’m 19, unemployed, living with my parents, a full time college student. Me and my boyfriend have been together almost four years and he works full time but in California, it’s just not enough to be on our own let alone support a baby.

I got pregnant on birth control after switching my pill. And I know, “it’s for the best you’re not having a baby, then.” It doesn’t make the pain any less real. How do I go about healing from a miscarriage when I so desperately want a baby, but I can’t try again? Where do I even go from here?

I just feel so lost and unmotivated to do anything anymore. I’ve wanted kids and to be pregnant since I was 14, but I’ve been responsible, taken birth control, and am going to college to be able to have that. It really just doesn’t help or make me feel any better about losing my baby or about not being able to try again for years to come.

Any advice is welcomed and appreciated.