AITA?-Mother-In-Law Edition

Kinda long, my husband & I are originally from Ohio. We recently moved to PA after living in CA for 3 1/2 years. When we lived in CA we did our best to visit still, talk on the phone, facetime, send photos, etc. We knew that when we moved closer to Ohio that we would be attending more family events/traditions but we made it clear to everyone (or so we thought) that we can not make it to every event/tradition because it's still a 2 1/2 drive to see them & we are in the process of remodeling our home & hopefully starting a family soon. We also both just started new jobs. It's been stressful enough as it is to say the least. So that's the back story.

Recent story- we have been going to see family almost every weekend since we've been back because there's been so many events these months.

My husband's family has a tradition of going apple picking every year. We haven't been able to make it in four years because we lived over 3,000 miles away. Well they want us to come this year. They wanted us to go this coming weekend but we let them know that we can not come see them every weekend & we won't make it but maybe next year. To be fair my youngest siblings dedication is next week too & we aren't going to that either.

Additionally, my brothers wedding is in two weeks and we'll already be coming for that event. My husband and I are both in the wedding & I have a bunch of family coming into town that I haven't seen in years. My husband is also very close to them.

Well yesterday at our nieces first birthday (husband's side) his family cornered us & told us that they were moving apple picking to the day after my brothers wedding........& That they expected us to come & basically blamed me for the tradition being lost. Even though we were only in CA because my husband was stationed there (he was in the military). We didn't know what to say.

My family from out of town will be there all weekend & we're doing a send off for my brother the day after his wedding for his honeymoon.

Is this not incredibly rude of them?? I haven't told them I'm not going to their apple picking event because obviously my brothers wedding is way more important than a freaking apple.

Am I overreacting & if not what should I say to them? I feel like this is a lose lose situation for me. Help!!

Side note: unfortunately, we aren't taking any visitors right now because of how busy our lives are & our house is in complete disarray from remodeling. They are also being very pushy about seeing the new house but that would just be more of a burden at this point.