How do you cope ?

Question

To start - I’ve been TTC for 9 months. I experienced my first pregnancy that ended in a early miscarriage in February . Now I feel like I shouldn’t speak about my next pregnancy at all because my last one ended so quickly. How did you cope? Did you still announce early or did you wait?

Answer

I had my first pregnancy in June. We announced at 5 weeks to our parents and immediate family we were too excited to wait. At week 7 I started bleeding and lost my baby at work on a Friday a day before our 8th week. I felt awful but I felt even more awful telling our families. They were so excited and it was so awkward seeing the disappointment and pity on their faces. 
Here we are 5..5 weeks again. It’s so hard to be excited when worried it’s all going to happen again. This time we are waiting until 10 weeks to tell our family. We won’t announce until Christmas publicly. I’m not sure if it would make much difference either way. If I were to lose this baby I would still tell my mom for support. But I try not to think about that. Praying for a better outcome this time around!

Answer

I've always announced as soon as I knew. For a long while we didn't think it would ever be possible. Friends and family went through the journey with us and it never felt right to close them out from that part. Loss or no loss. That was part of the journey as well. I was open because I wanted others to know they weren't alone if they were also struggling. And some were. They messaged me privately over the years to thank me for being so open about it. 
So 5 yrs 1 month to our first pregnancy. Miscarried. 
2 yrs 1 month to our daughter, she's 4 now. 
1 yr 8 months to our third, missed miscarriage. 
1 yr to our son, he's 11 months old now. 
It's really up to you and what you decide to do. Just because I'm super open about our struggles and losses and everything in-between, doesn't mean that everyone else has to be just as open. It's whatever YOU are comfortable with.

How do you cope ?

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