Back in March I found out that I was pregnant it was definitely a surprise for myself and my family. My dad suffered a stroke just before I found out I was pregnant and I had to put him in a nursing to do rehab so he could regain use of his leg and be able to come home. That stroke was my dad's 4th stroke so his health wasn't very good. While my dad was in the nursing home I went to visit him and gave him the news that I was pregnant for the 4th time. He laughed at me and said it's probably another girl, I already have 3 girls and dad would joke with me that all I could have is girls, but he was still excited for me. When I got the results from my NIPT test saying i was actually having a boy this time I went to visit my dad and told him it's a boy. He was so happy and excited for me saying it's about time. Then on May 12th just 3 days after my birthday I got a call at 4am saying my dad had passed away. Life is completely different without him, my older children miss him probably as much as I do, and they are also still grieving. He was a huge part in all of our lives, my boyfriend who isn't even an emotional person felt the loss of my dad. Fast forward to now, I'm 33 weeks pregnant due November 11 and I'm still grieving but I'm excited for the birth of my first son but something I can't get off my mind and it's constantly nagging at me is my baby boy won't get to meet my dad he will never get to feel the same love from his grandfather that my daughters did, he won't have that close bond my girls had with him and he won't be able to have a unique relationship with his grandfather like the rest had. It literally breaks my heart. My dad was the only person in my family who cared, my mother doesn't talk to me and my boyfriends parents don't even see much of their grandchildren. It's like he won't have any grandparents when he's born. It's hard for me to talk to my boyfriend as he seems like he's not sure how to handle situations like this. So sharing this somewhere helps.