Where do I start

Question

First time mama here. Getting pregnant was difficult for me. 6 years of trying, countless medications and finally <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> worked ( last transfer last embryo).

21 weeks pregnant and I don’t know why but I think I am upset or just depressed. Baby is fine, we are having a little girl and I am just more thankful than happy.

I have spent so many days so many months so many years just making plans or preparations on what to do for next cycle to get pregnant that now I have absolutely no idea what to do.

I need maternity pants and also start planning for baby room baby furniture baby clothes but when me and my husband go out to shop I just make excuses that we still have time or I will order online. I think I am just not getting connected or attached to my pregnancy. I should be happy but I am not.

I don’t know wr to start. What should I do first?

I don’t know how to do this…

What’s wrong with me?

Answer

I feel this so much. FTM here also! 🙋🏼‍♀️ It took a little over 4 years of TTC for us to finally have a successful pregnancy. I’ve had two very early miscarriages and one ectopic rupture while doing letrazole and ovidrel. 💔 I also had to go the IVF route. 💉Took two transfers before I finally got pregnant, and I’m currently 20 weeks with a little girl. 🎀🥹
Infertility is a very hard and lonely road that really beats you into the ground. It’s depressing (to say the least). 😩 I would say I felt a little disconnected from my pregnancy at first. Almost like it was a defense mechanism. Like if I’m not too excited and attached, then when I miscarry, I won’t be as nearly hurt. Plus, years of being on a routine of drugs TTC, your mind becomes so one tracked. Now suddenly you’re not having to do that. It’s almost a shock to the system. 🤯 That started to go away when I got in my second trimester. Especially when I had my anatomy scan. 😍 Honestly, I’d say what your feeling is normal given your history. Don’t feel bad. It’s ok hun. Nothing at all is wrong with you. Plenty of women feel the same way. I think when you are finally holding your little one in your arms, everything you feel now, will melt away. 🥰 And keep in mind, your hormones are not working in favor of your mental health right now. Seriously. Damn them! 🤬 You may want to talk to your OB if the depression really gets to you. There are plenty of medications out there that are pregnancy safe to help you cope. Not saying that’s what you need, but it’s an option.
Remember, you’re no ordinary mama, you’re an IVF warrior mama! 💪🏻 You overcame infertility because you never gave up. Such a badass! 😎You’re amazing and so deserving of your little miracle. 🌈👶🏼🎀💗

Answer

This is normal! You spent 6 years planning and trying to just GET pregnant, now that you are you’re probably just feeling a bit lost. Start small and maybe try adding bottles and such to an Amazon registry. I can completely understand where you’re coming from, I thought pregnancy was beautiful and it’s all I’ve ever wanted for myself. After being told and finally accepting that I was not able to have children we found out I actually was pregnant by some crazy miracle. But god I hate being pregnant, it literally sucks. I have dealt with horrible constipation, headaches, my boobs kill me, my ob and I don’t get along, I panic every day about the idea of actually giving birth and I’m soooo incredibly depressed. But forcing myself to do things like look at breast pumps and buy a stroller the other day have actually made me happier. While being pregnant isn’t all I’ve ever hoped and dreamed, I am definitely ready for the end product

Answer

I would maybe get ahead and do some therapy now to deal with your feelings about it. You've been through so much so it makes complete sense that you're feeling this way. Talk to a therapist or join a FB group or moms who went through IVF and infertility to share your story and connect with others who have been in your shoes. I feel like being understood can go a long way and they might have some advice for you. Hang in there and congratulations on your pregnancy, you certainly deserve this baby ♥️

Answer

Girl, 6 years of infertility is so so hard on you heart, emotions, and body. It’s okay that it doesn’t feel like you think it should. 
I had a battle with infertility, meds, testing, surgeries, and IUI. During the pregnancy with my first - I felt so disconnected and got extremely depressed which turned in postpartum anxiety. I was put on meds but that was only a bandaid for me. If you feel up for it, I would strongly consider therapy. Someone who either specializes in perinatal or trauma. If you are in the US, go to psychologytoday.com. You’ll be able to filter your location, insurance, and a few other things to find a good provider. Please go easy on yourself. 🤍

Where do I start

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