Sad and scared

I’m currently 39w3d with my first. My stepdaughter arrived to our home the last two weekends with a head cold. Despite everything I did to prevent spreading it, I’m now sick. To make matters more difficult, my grandma’s health is declining and she will be heading to hospice next week. We decided to name Baby Girl after my grandma months ago, and I will be heartbroken if they can’t meet. But, I’m scared to deliver while I’m sick. Im scared I will get the baby sick and have a harder time delivering. I also can’t see my grandma while I’m sick.

For the last week I have felt mentally drained waiting for baby. Every little twinge I’m hopeful that it is labour. Now, I don’t know what to feel. Im sad my daughter’s birth will be under this dark cloud of uncertainty, and scared she won’t get to meet her great grandmother or will become sick because of me.

Im waiting on a call from my midwife to talk over my anxiety around her health if I am still sick when it happens, but Im also home alone left to think worst case scenario so thought I’d post for some positivity.