Toddler screaming at me - what can I do?

Question

I keep trying to find solutions for how to improve this behavior in my 2 year old but I'm struggling.  I'm hoping someone on here has some helpful advice.
My daughter has quite the temper.  She is wonderfully, amazingly sweet and kind, but when she's mad, she's MAD.  She screams and gets in my face and yells NO.  I have tried my best to stay calm and exhibit even, calm emotions when this happens.
Lately, everything is "STOP IT!"  We started a mom and me ballet class (for 2 year olds, so my daughter isn't the only chaotic one, certainly), and often she won't participate and yells "STOP IT!" at me if I try to hold her hand or encourage her to follow instructions. When that happens, I take her outside and try to calm her down and tell her it's okay to feel frustrated and upset but screaming like that is not okay, especially when we're in class.  It's embarrassing, but I don't even care about that.  What I care about is figuring out how to help her regulate her emotions and not scream at me/yell in my face.
Also, I try very hard to model good emotion regulation for my daughter but my husband often has irrational outbursts of anger (at me, never at her) and I am fairly certain that is affecting her.  I've tried to calmly discuss it with him in a way where it doesn't come across like I'm blaming him but he typically gets mad if I bring it up at all.  It's a challenge because he won't get help for his anger issues.  No, I'm not going to leave him, I love him and he is a good man otherwise.  It just complicates things.
Any suggestions?  Thanks!

Answer

It’s hard if she is constantly seeing dads behaviour. How can you expect her to stop when she sees dad do it which appears normal to her. Do you take dad outside and calm dad down? No. So for her why are you allowing dad to behave like this but treating her different especially when daddy is the adult and daddy needs to be the big boy. You can’t do much unless you get onto him. 
Other than that I would suggest taking her to a paediatrician and raising your concerns and ask for strategies. They’re most likely going to tell you what we all are about dad

Answer

If she's seeing your husband have outbursts that has a lot to do with hers. If you can look past that and want to keep your family together he needs to stop that behavior all together. Send him to therapy and anger management and put your foot down. If he's going to have an outburst your child needs to be removed from the situation immediately if he can not remove himself. If you notice him in a mood you need to bring her in another room and make sure your husband is told the way he's behaving is inappropriate for a family and that you're separating your child to keep her safe from potentially seeing an outburst. If he has an outburst before you can separate her let it be well known to your daughter and your husband as you're taking her from the situation that it is inappropriate behavior. That's got to stop.
It sounds like your method of parenting is really great by the way. This is definitely just going to take a lot of patience and effort. You're doing great on your part. Your husband needs to follow your example. 
I always recommend the Instagram page ourmamavillage for gentle parenting advice.

Answer

My suggestion is that you need to press the issue with your husband regardless if it makes him more angry. Any time he yells, point it out. Ask him not to do it in front of your daughter (or at all). It’s unacceptable. Stand up to him for your daughter and do not enable the behavior by letting it slide.