Does my husband just not love me? Someone please explain

Long story short,

I have 3 kids, and I’ve had 3 abortions. I just found out I’m pregnant and I’m about to have a 4th.

All with the same man.

The abortions were all because he didn’t think we could afford the babies. (Which is true, but never true.. wtf)

Of course, I care.

But, I won’t have a baby that my partner doesn’t want.

But damn, I just wonder if I looked better, would he have had me abort all of these babies?

Maybe he’d care more about cumming in me and putting me through this? I feel like a sex toy more than anything.

Like.. why would we kill the baby if we knew what we were doing?

He seems kinda remorseful, but not enough to say.. we should keep our baby.

Someone help me understand.