Any guidance? Moving groups. Not sure where to post.

So this is long but I need help because I don’t really know how to help my friend right now. She’s been a friend for a long time but we’ve been on and off for keeping in touch as much. I know her and her husband have had their issues in the past before having kids and I thought things were a lot better.

She told me that they were so much better but that he has started to be a little physical again when he’s really mad. There was one time that he overreacted and popped one of her kids on the cheek. Like slapped it and it left a red mark and she didn’t leave because she said she had popped her kid in the mouth for being sassy once before like she got when she was growing up but immediately said sorry and hasn’t done it since. So then when he did that he also apologized right away which made her think she should’ve given him grace in that moment for getting triggered as a parent. So at first I was like girl you should go. But she talked through it and said how she can see that he’s struggling mentally and that he truly is sorry. They had their life uprooted a couple major ways over the last handful of years, lost a baby, personal stuff and it’s really taken a toll. He feels lonely and like he has no purpose in life and she asked me given the scenario that he gets physical again or lashes out in anger like if it’s acceptable to leave with the kids like separate physically but not divorce and have him do therapy or if that makes her a bad mom for staying still married and hoping to work it out?

Which I feel conflicted on what to say here. Like I grew up with a Dad who was abusive and if he would’ve done therapy and really fixed himself and showed me that I think I would’ve been happy with it not mad at my mom for staying.. but obviously we all know when they don’t do the work and you stay.. that’s different and resentment builds (like my case and I told her that) but she asked what if he does do the work then what? I don’t really know how to advise. I don’t have that experience.

ETA - she said she doesn’t know who she can talk to and trust right now but felt she could with me due to length of friendship. She also said she didn’t know if she could get her kids taken away if she chose to work it out with him. I can kind of understand what she’s saying there but if he’s doing better in therapy or something then I don’t see why it would come to that?

Adding again: sorry, a little jumbled while typing this. So regardless he is starting therapy now. She’s basically saying if it happens again is that like, dumb or wrong basically to stay married to him... like I think what she’s saying without saying is : if someone abuses you or even your kid but then gets help and is better.. is it wrong to stay because they never should’ve even in the first place.