Baby is only a week old but I’m stressing about breastfeeding so much, everything about it. I didn’t have the best luck breastfeeding with my first baby but I want to breastfeed. I enjoy feeding and bonding with my baby. My issues are:

1. I get SO TIRED at night. She’s already waking me every 30 minutes to an hour, and no matter what I do or how much my husband takes over so I can sleep during the day when he’s home, I start to doze off. Because of this I also have extreme anxiety over falling asleep with her in the chair or bed and suffocating her.

2. How the heck do you all plan events, appointments, etc. around breastfeeding? My baby had her first doctor appointment a couple days ago and even thought I got my toddler, baby, and myself ready early, we were still almost late because then she was hungry right before we left and diaper changes and such.

3. I really hate the idea of breastfeeding in public. I’m super private with my body, I can’t get the hang of the cover for the life of me and use pillows and stuff to help breastfeed at home but obviously can’t do that out in public.

I just wish there was a way for me to breastfeed when we’re in the comfort of our home, but give her a bottle if she gets hungry right before an appointment and in public. I know I could pump and I do get some milk with my haaka but I don’t want to cause an oversupply because I am a SAHM and don’t *need* to pump and I don’t understand how the bottle fed with breast milk works either. I could freeze milk but what if I can’t properly thaw it before I have to go or am going somewhere where I would need multiple bottles and no fridge/cooler? What if I didn’t have time to pump fresh milk? I never saw an IBCLC at the hospital because they don’t have one. I live in the middle of nowhere. The closest one to me is three hours away and I don’t have time to go see her.