I've been with my husband for 10 years. We have two kids together. We are best friends, he is my favorite person and I love him more and more everyday. I never suspected anything, he's always been so loyal and wonderful to me, that I never even thought about it. But yesterday, I was looking on our shared spare phone, and saw recent searches for onlyfans. Now, I don't mind p*rn, at all. We watch it together but I enjoy it more than he does. He doesn't really ever masturbate (I thought) and we have a pretty healthy sex life most of the time. He knows what my boundaries are. No people we know, and no paying for it. And I can't find any transactions to see if he paid for it, and he deleted the account before he got home (I was stupid and told him over the phone what I found). But after looking through all of the accounts in the search history, I found 2 people I know very well, one being a friend of mine that he met through me, years ago. I grew up with her and will have to continue to see her (I obviously do not blame her in any way) and he confessed to subscribing for only free stuff from about 10 different girls that live locally that he found on social media. I found the account creation email, and it was when I was pregnant with our youngest. He made a fake name and a different email, just to do all of this. I don't know what to do. I really have no idea. I love him. I know he didn't plan to hurt me. But he's been hiding this from me for two years. He wouldn't have come clean on his own, when I confronted him, he was completely in shock and couldn't speak. In my heart, I consider this cheating. But I don't know if I'm just being dramatic, he keeps trying to downplay it and it's making me so mad. I don't even want to look at him right now. I don't know how to forgive this. I feel like such an idiot.