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If he willingly crossed a known boundary, then yes.
Did he cheat?
I've been with my husband for 10 years. We have two kids together. We are best friends, he is my favorite person and I love him more and more everyday. I never suspected anything, he's always been so loyal and wonderful to me, that I never even thought about it. But yesterday, I was looking on our shared spare phone, and saw recent searches for onlyfans. Now, I don't mind p*rn, at all. We watch it together but I enjoy it more than he does. He doesn't really ever masturbate (I thought) and we have a pretty healthy sex life most of the time. He knows what my boundaries are. No people we know, and no paying for it. And I can't find any transactions to see if he paid for it, and he deleted the account before he got home (I was stupid and told him over the phone what I found). But after looking through all of the accounts in the search history, I found 2 people I know very well, one being a friend of mine that he met through me, years ago. I grew up with her and will have to continue to see her (I obviously do not blame her in any way) and he confessed to subscribing for only free stuff from about 10 different girls that live locally that he found on social media. I found the account creation email, and it was when I was pregnant with our youngest. He made a fake name and a different email, just to do all of this. I don't know what to do. I really have no idea. I love him. I know he didn't plan to hurt me. But he's been hiding this from me for two years. He wouldn't have come clean on his own, when I confronted him, he was completely in shock and couldn't speak. In my heart, I consider this cheating. But I don't know if I'm just being dramatic, he keeps trying to downplay it and it's making me so mad. I don't even want to look at him right now. I don't know how to forgive this. I feel like such an idiot.
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I have an onlyfans account and I would 100% consider that cheating. Porn is one thing. An actual person you are interacting with and possibly even exchanging photos/videos with is completely different especially if these are people local to you that you know. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. His account can be recovered though within 30 days of deletion and I'd personally make him recover it or I'd leave.
If you both agreed it was cheating, then yes. But there is a difference between saying “this is my boundary” and ending the conversation and saying “this is my boundary, what are yours, let’s come to an agreement” I’m not saying you didn’t do this or trying to invalidate your feelings. Also, my SO and I are both totally fine with onlyfans, and I would much rather pay for porn than watch free porn. But I had never considered people we know, so now I know I need to sit down with him and come to an agreement with that specifically.
Any transaction just over a gift card amount? 50 or 100 plus activation fee or taxes. If he has made any purchases and you don’t see anything on your bank account. Could he have a separate bank account or he gift carded it? Women were given intuition and gut feelings. If your gut is telling you something is wrong it usually is. Especially after 10 years you know him like the back of your hand.
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