I have a daughter who is 20 months old. I just had my son a few days ago and my goodness…. I miss my daughter so much.

The last trimester was hard on me… I had bad swelling in my right leg and crotch (beautiful)! And then of course the gigantic belly. So I couldn’t carry her. I felt like I was pawning her off so I could relax some. I missed her then.

Now postpartum I can’t pick her up again because I am healing from labor. I’m very busy with my newborn. Breastfeeding is so demanding. I am obsessed with both of my children but I wish I could spend more time with my daughter since pregnancy robbed me of this. The time I do get with her isn’t super loving. I feel like I am telling her to be gentle with baby etc etc.

I put her to bed tonight and she was very overtired and crying and just wanted to snuggle so bad… so I just rocked her and cried and cried cried. I picked her up to put her in her bed… I shouldn’t have. But my gosh the snuggles were needed.

I hate this guilt already.