Back story first: I am recently divorced and 24 with 1 kid she’s 4 she’s biologically mine and her bio dad is not involved for a good reason. Her stepdad my ex husband has been raising her since she was a baby . She is no longer with said stepdad as he has been raising as if she’s in the military.

Now on to the present day : My bf and I started dating June of 2022. I found out a week after our 2 month anniversary of dating he’s still living with an ex where we live it is hard to get an apartment for an affordable price. We live in California. He tells me I’m not the side chick I’m just someone he’s protecting from her because on the week he told me he lives with said ex he called me at night to come get him. Well the ex decided to jump on his car and try to block him from leaving and then decided to call the cops and say he was the aggressor and she was the victim.

I know it’s truly over btwn him and said ex especially the way he talks about her . I can definitely see he has no room for her anymore.

I genuinely love him and feel he’s my soulmate. He gets me like no one else has ever done. He understands me so dam well and I understand him well. We know each others quirks and we know what sets one of us off. We both wanted to be security guards and we just started working in security.

My problem is he says not to text him unless it’s reasonable because I’m constantly blowing his up to make sure nothing has happened to him since I don’t know the ex and can’t trust her after what happened recently. On top of that he says he’s miserable and depressed living there but every time I send links about apartments in our budget he doesn’t say anything.

What would you do or say if you were in my situation ? Like I said I feel in my gut he’s the missing piece I’ve been looking for so I’m not not going to leave him.

Tia

Edit: When we first met he talked about having kids when we are both stable , marriage and getting our own place. He reassures me that he is serious about us. He also shares the apartment with a female roommate and he recently told me that she said his ex is childish. He recently started talking about getting a car to be able to put car seats in . He gets overly protective of me when guys look at me when I wear revealing clothes. He calls me baby girl or babe in front of his family and friends . I already met his family family and he calls me when he needs and vice versa . He’s stayed over at my place several times before.

Update I talked to said ex girlfriend as well as the female roommate and the ex said it’s been over between them . Female roommate also said they don’t sleep together he sleeps on the couch in the living room.