i’m gonna try and make this as short and simple as possible. i’ve been with my husband since 14. he was my first everything pretty much. (i messed around with people before that but nothing serious). when we were young our relationship was toxic asf and i just blamed it on us being young. this past year has been really hard we argued a lot and there was this girl he pretty much cheated with. i was tired of being walked all over all the time so i left and ended up meeting this guy and hooked up with him a couple times. well me and my husband had a longggg discussion, put everything on the table and agreed to work things out. i thought that’s what i wanted but i’ve been having second thoughts. honestly i keep thinking about this other guy especially when it comes to sex. my husband was always super selfish during sex (only ever lasted 1min max, and never cared to do foreplay or anything ever). i literally don’t know what to do. every time i try and leave he just knows how to get me to come right back. also i can’t see myself in a relationship with anybody else. but i just don’t know what i actually want.