Really weird experience going to a church

Sa

Sarah

So my fiancé and I are two different relgion/ denominations , he is catholic and I am Christian. I just call myself a believer and try not to place myself into a box. Anyways he and I both respect each others beliefs and we never cross the boundary of trying to push a belief onto each other. I think that’s probably the greatest thing about our relationship. So my fiancé is into drywall and he gets hired to go into houses and fix drywall patches.

My fiancé ran across a pastor that invited him to a church and he agreed to go. My fiancé came home and told me about it and said he had a good feeling about the guy. So I agreed and we went on a Sunday to go. The church was really nice and seemed unjudgemental compared to other churches I have been to. So for the past two sundays we went and had a good experience.

I met the pastor and he seemed like a very friendly and nice guy. This is where the story gets interesting.

The head deacon called us this last Saturday, and granted we have only visited this church two times.. and he called us and was like, “let me guess.. you guys are living together right?” We didn’t lie and said yes. The deacon told us we needed to move out and live with a friend. Then he told us we had one of two choices we could either stop living together or get married.. and one of the church members would hurry up and marry us.

Then he said after we do that we need to come to the front of the church in front of everyone and say that we’ve been saved.. and then get baptized in front of the whole church. I don’t have a problem going to church but the way he said was more demanding like we didn’t have a choice. I have never been treated this way in any church that I have went to. I have never felt so forced to make a decision. I have been to different churches and neither have felt this pushy.

The pastor that my fiancé met has been blowing up both of our phones nonstop and we haven’t been answering because we feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to say. I told one of my friends who goes to a church in the same denomination and she told us to run for the hills and said it’s not that normal for someone to be that pushy that soon. What do you guys think about this and have you had a similar experience?

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COMMENT (3)

Je

Posted at
Red flags all over the place. That is not normal and seems really unhealthy. I would disengage/block and never speak to them again.

Ke

Posted at
As a believer, I can appreciate the church's perspective on living together/premarital sex. But the way this particular church is going about it is definitely not normal. My now husband and I lived together before getting married and I know our pastors at our church didn't love that, but they certainly weren't blowing us up over it either. Block their numbers and don't go back, there are other churches that will be a better fit.

L

Posted at
If you were members and decided to move in together, I could see them revoking your membership or saying those things. Still not calling repeatedly like that!! But you just went there two times. This is not normal behavior no matter what denomination. Or if you asked the pastor to marry you I could see him saying no. But sounds like you were just visitors and they are going overboard. While I do believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God and we should follow it, I don’t think they are going about it the right way.